My journey with Christ

Another month has passed since I last posted about how I feel on my journey of trying to conceive. The previous cycle was quite devastating, I think I have reached my limit. I got angry at God, disappointed, frustrated and I felt bitter. I can't explain why I feel this way . I thought I will never be angry at God. After all isn't it silly to be angry at Him when He is all we have? I couldn't bring myself to pray, to hope and to have faith. I still believe that God is real and all, but I think my faith in this journey has been shaken terribly. Previous months, I was still able to pray to Him, able to still trust that He will bring forth His promises in my life. However, this month my faith was challenged. I could truly feel the spiritual war inside me. A part of me wanted to hold on to God and another part of me wanted to abandon this hope and faith thing altogether. This anger and disappointment lasted about 2 weeks since I found out that I am not pregnant (again). One da...

After we got married, my husband and I decided that we want to wait 1 year before we try to have baby. The reason behind this because my husband is not ready financially but also i am not ready mentally. I never thought that God will change my heart. I am always worried if I will not be a good mum, in fact, I never like children. I prayed to God that He will change me, so that I will be ready to be a mum. and he did just that. I am ready.  Finally, we both are ready. First month , I thought it would be easy. my work colleague who is much older than me conceived in the first go, surely if I follow her "way" I will be able to get pregnant. On my first month, I was hopeful. Especially my sister told me her dream of me having a baby and another friend who previously told me that I am holding a baby at my sister's wedding which was 6 months away. However, first month was horrible, not only I wasn't pregnant, my period pain was so bad and my period was a week late. Tha...

The year is about to end and i just want to recap all the good things the Lord has brought into my life this year . Earlier this year i got married to the man whom i have been praying for. He is far from perfect , in fact our relationship is far from perfect but i am grateful that God answered my prayers for a life partner who continuously seek His will and a man who works hard and loves his family. Our multiple weddings went smoothly We had our honeymoon in March then in April we had 2 weddings in one week after another , one in Medan and one in China. Im grateful for my family members who love me so much and prepared all this for me as well as my new acquired family members who treated me like their own.  This year i have also led a group in BSF, it was a struggle in the beginning of the year with many members dropping out , but thankful that God brought new members and we were able to bond very well.  In August, we bought a new car and again i just want to thank God fo...

Yesterday night, we had a combined lifegroup night where all young adults gathered and listened to Pastor sharing about the area of relationship. While the whole content is so good, i would like to share a particular section that helped me during this season of my life. Decision making framework. I am in the season where there are so many things to decide, for eg. should i move out from the current place we stay? When should we have kids? should i invest in this ? etc and many more in the coming months Hence this is the list: 1. Supremacy of scriptures : the word from God that direct this decision 2. spirit of the seeker : what is the motive behind this decision? do we come to God with the right motive and open heart? 3. Patience in prayer : will we persevere and wait in prayers? 4. Council of mature Christians : what do other godly Christian think about this decision? 5. Comfirmation of circumstances 6. Discipline of decision making 7. Presence of peace 8. signs of spirit ...

I got married on 24th Feb 2018 to a man that i have been praying for. Until today it still feels surreal that i am married and blessed with a man like him. I still remember those years i was struggling with relationships and my confidence in myself was very low. Now to think about that, it seems like a long time ago. What have i learnt throughout this whole wedding journey? 1. I have learnt that preparing a wedding is a hard work, but preparing a marriage is so much more important. To those girls out there who said that wedding preparation is fun, hmm... i salute you . Haha there were so many choices to be made, and there were so many things to think about. It makes me wonder, what does it take to build a godly marriage ? I believe it is through much more hardwork and prayers. Sometimes i wonder, have we missed the real marriage ? Couples spent so many hours preparing for their wedding yet so little effort in maintaining their marriage. Because of all this wedding planning i know th...

It's been a while since i last posted. Been caught up with wedding planning and some other things. Yes you guessed it! Im getting marrieddddd !!! So excited and blessed especially after all the drama that i have been through in my life. Thank God for giving me the chance to meet a wonderful guy and go through this season of life. When i first started going out with him, i did mentioned to him that my desire is that we can serve God in one ministry together one day. And we prayed about it, but probably not all the time, just a couple of times and sincerely asking God to show us the path. That was when i first moved to Sydney and finally able to be in the same church as him. But yet we still havent served in the same ministry as God calls me to serve as stage manager and him in logistics and camera. Though we are not serving in the same area we are both quite happy with the arrangement. Until about 3 months ago, we were both called into BSF leadership at the same time. Of course f...

After I moved from Melbourne, many adversities have had happened. Exactly 2 weeks after I moved, one morning I received a phone call from my existing housemate telling me that the new housemate who lived in my room has caused some problems. A guy came into the house early in the morning and had a huge fight with her and a few of her friends that she brought home to stay over. After that, I just heard one complain after another and have had so many griefs just trying to get her vacate my house, unfortunately there was nothing I can do to vacate her but just to wait till the lease ends and thankfully she has left my house now yet there are so many damage that she caused. I thought she is a good Christian girl but she was totally far from that. Also, another tenant decide not to move in so the rent I receive was a lot less than what I thought I would get. Additionally, i had appendicitis 3 weeks after i started my job. I couldnt get any sick leave because I have to work 3 mths before I ...