My journey with Christ

I feel... so different this holiday For some reasons, i feel home For many reasons, i feel that i should stay back home I have never felt this before... This is different Yes.. this sounds crazy but im praying for the next chapter of my life I thank God that I got a chance to stay in Melbourne as a permanent resident my journey to be a PR was incredible God's blessing for me during all this time has been amazing And i dont complain a thing My life in Melbourne is blessed cos i live a very comfortable life and i have supportive community. however, this time when i got back home, i have been thinking, where is my home.. trully? I have been thinking a lot lately.. i spent time with my family so much, and i should say, i dont even spend time with friend at all or even contact them to let them know that im back not bcos im arrogant or lazy to meet them but i just wanna focus on my family. I realise that whenever i came back home, i spent too little time with them, most of t

Tonight i saw a shooting star Made me wonder where you are For years I have been dreaming of you, And I wonder if you're thinking of me too In this world of cheap romance And love that only fades after the dance They say that Im a fool to wait for something more How can I really love someone I've never seen before? But I have longed for true love every day that I have lived And I know real love is all about learning how to give So I pray that God will bring you to me And I pray you'll find me waiting faithfully Faithfully, I am yours From now until forever Faithfully I will write, Write you a love song with my life Cause this kind of love's worth waiting for No matter how long it takes I am yours Faithfully

Im so thrilled.. whee..... feel awesome haha As I have been sharing again and again before, I have trouble hearing from God. I will only know His will through what the pastors share or through a prophet and sometimes I assume it is His will when it appears so many times during a certain period. For eg. I heard someone talking abt specific thing to me, then I was confirmed again through specific verse that talks to me abt that matter.  Mostof the times though, i forgot to search God and just assume along the way. And yesterday... Deng deng!! I could listen to Him I was praying, and longing to know the will of God, so I just kept quiet and let Him speak. All of the sudden, i feel like God is saying to me "give me your heart". I wasnt sure if that is from God actually. like.. is it just my own voice or is it bcos sth that i read actually said that and then im reminded again. When i started to have doubt, i just cant pray anymore. I started to reason to God, how do I give

You are not my Santa Claus Sorry Lord when often, I come to You demanding this or that You are not my 911 Sorry Lord, often I only come to You for help You are not my diary Sorry Father for coming to You, bursting all my anger, complaints and disappointment and never come with a heart wanting to listen to what You have to say You are not my maid Sorry Lord for treating You as my maid at times when I was lazy myself and ask You to do things for me You are not a magician Sorry Father for so many times my prayers are full of demands asking you to turn my circumstances into sth that i want I am sorry Lord for ever treating You like my santa claus, 911, diary, maid, magician with or without knowing. Thank You for nudging me and letting me know about my weakness. Often i live my life regretting my past and not being grateful of present and longing for future and I know that is wrong bcos that means I am not trusting my life on You... Lord... teach me how to be Your daughter, who c