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Showing posts from 2015

His restoration - He provision and protection

I flew to Bangkok 10 days ago for short trip holiday before going back to my hometown and then Jakarta to attend my bestfriend's wedding. During my visit in Bangkok, my make up bag was stolen. My bag was cut wide open without my knowledge and I only realised it when I reached my hotel. At that time I didnt know that I lost my makeup bag because I was so happy to see that I didnt lose my wallet and my mobilephone. I was praising God and all that night. Then next day I realise that I lost my makeup bag, to be honest i felt abit disappointed and felt abit "stupid" for thanking God (i know im bad ... -_- ). The reason for being upset was because my bestie just gave me a lipbalm and oil blotting paper from Japan 2 days before i lost it, and a Swarovski pen i got from my sister, and a few other stuff in there.thou wallet and phone sound more important, for me the makeup bag carries special meaning ( including the bag itself cos it was handmade).
Anyway thou i felt abit disappo…

only God can satisfy our soul (one month journal)

ournalling my daily walk with God on my phone since the first day I broke up and would like to share some here, hope it might encourage some of you in any difficult situations you are in right now:

30 August 2015 - the day before I broke up , when my emotion was in turmoil
Today church sermon is about managing your emotion

Colosians 3 :13 says let peace of God rule your heart

The sermon also says identify your emotion then challenge it

Dont let your emotion control you

The song really strengthens me too

Chorus

PertolonganMu begitu ajaib
Kau t'lah memikat hatiku
Disaat aku tak sanggup lagi
Disitu tanganMu bekerja
PertolonganMu begitu ajaib
Kini mataku tertuju padaMu
Kurasakan kasihMu Tuhan

31 Aug 2015 - I will strengthen you and help you
Today again from salt and light (devotion at work), the message i receive is
Isa 41:8-10
... for i have chosen you
And will not throw you away
Dont be afraid , for i am with you
Dont be discouraged for i am your God
I will strengthen and help yo…

Going through breakup

The title of this post sounds depressing. I would love to tell you that the process is easy unfortunately it is not. For all who are experiencing breakup right now, whether it is a short term relationship or you guys been together for long time, i know how you feel because this is not my first time , in fact ive been thru several now and none was easy no matter how many times ive been through it.As you all know, i started this blog while i was going thru painful time of moving on from my previous ex and after 5 years i cant believe im back to the same position. It was quite traumatic for me and there was time i was angry at God why He allowed me to go thru this again when He knew it very well how difficult it was for me to move on. Yet who am i to order God for His plan for my life? God has every right to give and take away , which i realised later on.
But.. i am going thru this process not alone. As i have shared in previous post that its blessing in disguise, i would say thru this …

Blessing in disguise

Obviously moving on is not easy for anyone , especially myself as i have past history. However i would say this time i find that instead of feeling miserable, i was actually very blessed.For the whole last week, on 3 different occasions God spoke to me thru these verses :So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV And He also gave me another verse The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.  I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.
Jeremiah : 31: 3-4Unlike last broke up where i chose to isolate myself and keep everything on my own, this time i chose to share it with the loved ones. I dare myself to be vulnerable  and let them see my weakness and i received so much love fr…

When it is time to end another chapter

I dislike the fact that i have to share this in my blog because basically history repeats, that is the relationship that i once have, it is time to end it

Ive learnt a lot through this relationship. Learn that disobedience has severe consequences. Learn that to tango, it needs effort from both sides. Learn to be more submissive and understanding instead of hard headed and always think that i am right. Learn to cook gluten free , dairy free and fructose free food. Learnt to not easily give up when facing trouble. Learn how to hear from God and make the right decision.

Yes , in His will this relationship has to end at this point of time in my life. Am i angry? Am i discontent? Am i disappointed?
Yes i was angry at God, thinking why i should go through all this emotion turbulence again when i have built fence around my heart and had a stable life as single. I was discontented because i thought this relationship was going okay yet little do i know that it has cracks here and there. I w…

God's unending provision

It's been a while since i last posted what has been happening in my life and how I have journeyed with Jesus. So many things to share yet havent had the opportunity to sit down and write it all out. Normally i have my weekend booked out but tonight its only me and myself at home alone haha... Therefore i thought might as well use this time to do something productive (was thinking of watching new korean drama lol. That can wait).
God's provision in my life is  just super amazing. As i have shared before, I have been paying mortgage since 2013,when i first started my mortgage, my sister helped me a little bit with the mortgage. There were me , my brother and sister living in the house. Didnt thought of renting the spare room downstairs because we want to have our own space plus I dont want to just simply stay with anyone. However one day a friend who lived in Adelaide called me and asked if i know anyone who was renting out a place because she has a friend who's moving over…

I Love you... I think..

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love seems to be the one thing that everyone is seeking, and when you're single... everyone else is finding. We look around, and we see how much fun couples are having, and how in love they are with each other, and we realize that type of love is missing from our lives... And so we search for it, and sometimes we force it just so we can "think" we're in love.

Of course, parents always make fun of teenagers for this, especially when they have their first crush. That first day they are in "love." High School couples show how much they love each other by holding hands, and kissing. And in a romantic moment, they look into each other'…

Three fold relationship - God, me and him

Have you ever thought of what kind of relationship that you would like to have in your life?
Is it the one full of sunshines or rainbow? Always romantic, adrenalin pumped, or maybe a unique one?
Well as you all know, i have been single for 5 years before i recently in a relationship.
In that 5 years my perspective about relationship changed a lot from time to time. I used to never think about what type of relationship i wanted, what matters were the type of the guy i wanted for eg : good looking, gentleman, charismatic, funny etc. Slowly God changes the way i think. Obviously there are still some standards that havent changed for eg : 170cm tall, not bald and not have big tummy. Lol. I know.. feel free to judge me. But thats not the most important. Overtime my standards have changed even my prayers have changed. I used to pray for all the qualities that i could think of but slowly God inspired me to pray for his safety, his faith, his challenges , etc. Thats what i call bold prayers …

A new chapter of my life - as God has allowed and willed

What i am going to share in this post is going to be something personal and very precious to me. I guess it is also something that is vulnerable to me. Maybe you can guess it.. yes it is relationship.
Why is it vulnerable to me?
Firstly it is because being in a relationship is always my biggest weakness with my walk with God. So often my relationship with human overrides my relationship with God. I am constantly aware that i failed so many times to put God first and thus it has been quite a journey for me in this area. My previously relationship was about 5 yrs ago (i think.. i cant remember. Its been too long). And the past 5 yrs that i experienced  as you all read from my blog were not easy to go through..obviously it started out to be very difficult as it took quite sometime before i moved on from my last relationship. However, as I journeyed with God,I realise God really shapes me and helps me to be contented in every situations; especially being single. To actually come to that…

A story in another country

Hello from Amsterdam! Yes I am currently in Amsterdam and going back home another 4 days. Time flies!  This trip has been quite draining for a few reasons; nevertheless a story to tell and a trip to remember.We were supposed to go from Munich to Frankfurt 2 days ago (1st April) and it didnt happen. Let me rewind ..In the morning we ended our Eastern Europe tour and went to the train station , taking 12.52 train to go to Frankfurt. However, apparently there was an accident at Bayer and all trains were not operating. There were so many people queueing to change their tickets and to get money back. I started to be panicked because we have booked accomodation in Frankfurt and our next destination is from Frankfurt to Koln which we have booked train tickets and accomodation as well. It was so challenging because all the announcement was in German and we couldnt understand a thing. The station was so crowded and chaotic. Nevertheless we came into conclusion that we will get the refund bcos …

God's calling 2015

This year i have stopped being a cell group leader as well as BSF group leader, ah yes and worship leader too. I am not sure if it is the right decision but i went ahead anyway because i know i dont have peace if i continue. I was in the cross road and dont really know what to do but took the step of faith and stop everything because i believe if God really wants me back He is able to make it happens. Since i have stopped everything (i am still singer and translator) , i start to wonder, what is it that God want me to do this year? The answer didnt come straight away. As i shared bfore the theme for me this year was God increase and I decrease but the details of job desc for me wasnt revealed until recently.Firstly, my cell group leader was MIA (missing in action) so indirectly as core team member with another member we both tried our best to keep it going. When theres new member at church we tried to reach out to them and brought them to our cell group. It was kinda 'agressive…

In God's timing

I like being efficient and do things fast. I dont like to waste time and what i dislike the most is waiting, whether it is as small as  waiting for someone when I pick them up, or waiting for things to happen for eg in my case right now that is meeting my future partner. You can see from my life , as soon as I finish year 2 uni, i straight away looked for internship, and i hopped from one work to another very fast. I talk fast, eat fast, even walk fast. And with today's world, it makes things worse. 
I copied this from one of the websites i stumbled across as i prepared this sharing: Some of us have very busy lives and feel as though we are always in a hurry. Others may have had to slow down for reasons outside their control and may feel some resentment, or at least a slight sadness, at not being able to do as much or do it as fast as was possible in the past. One of the reasons we find it difficult to slow down is that we have not become convinced of the need for things to occur “in…