My journey with Christ

Happy New Year to you all ! Happy New Year Jesus ! I thought I would post a random post on this new year just so i have one entry for this new year  LOL Am I excited for 2014? I havent thought much about it but after pondering it for a while, yes I am. Why? Because the best is yet to come. 2013 was not my best year certainly and I am still contemplating what can I obtain from that year apart from all the new roles that I got. I am excited as to what God has for me in this year just as He has promised that He had come so that we all may have life in abundance. What about u? One thing I want to learn this year : to be able to say "Jehovahnissi" Glory to Him Orange Girl :)

When i looked thru my past posts, i saw "angels of the Lprd" and i remembered how i was rescued when i was locked at home. Lol. This is another testimony that Gpd's hands are always on me and His angels encamp around me Im throwing back the life experience when i was in Tassie last weekend. I went with my fam for 4 days trip and we rent a car. Me and my dad we took turn driving. It was my first time driving in countryside and driving speed was all above 70km/hr. Soo.. we were otw back from bruny island, this is the first day if i was not mistaken. Dad was quite tired because we had early flight and has been driving since we arrived so i was in charge of driving back the car to the ferry station. I was actually quite tired and sleepy as well but was stubborn so i forced myself. I kept having bad feeling that sth might happen. ( as a man think, so he is - very true ).i went into the wrong intersection and realised , so i was planning to reverse the car and drove back sinc

It is easy to give up That is why Paul encouraged us to Romans 12:11 NIV Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. For Everyday of my life for the past few months, i have been screaming inwardly to give up on my oikos. Literally.  Every single day. There were days when i felt a little bit stronger thats when i decide to give more time but  there were days when i just felt that i cant be bothered. Keep on thinking, why? Why should i strive so hard? Isnt oikos meant to be a place where i can feel happy like in a family? But why am i not feeling that way? I keep on searching for reasons to stay and press on but day after day the reasons to give up slowly outwins the reason to keep going. There was time that i even put on a wallpaper on my tablet and phone that says KEEP GOING. Honestly only God's words sustain me during this down time. And not forget to mention the support from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ around me. If i follow my selfis

Today i had a random meet up with a friend on the train when i was going to work. To me it was random but in reality it was divine intervention. She told me about the book that shes reading. Simple message but striking. Sometimes we pray, people around continue to support us by saying that we should press on and keep waiting on God to grant our wish. Most of the times we pray for sth that we dont have. We continue to wait and wonder when the time will come, when it will happen or when we will get the things we pray for. But rarely we consider our heart's attitude. what is the real motive behind our prayer? Why do we pray that prayer? What drives us to wait?Is it that we see what others have and wanting what they have? Do we continue to live in misery as we wait for God to give us what we want? Do we seek His hands more than His face? Those questions really point to the center of our hearts  and sometimes it is bitter to admit the truth.  I realise a lot of times my prayers have

Another month and 2013 is just going to be memory for all of us For me this year has been very tough, of course like every other year there are ups and downs but this year is tough in its own way I choose the theme of this year as God is my shield and great reward as i can see how God sustains me throughout the whole year and though a lot of things havent changed i could proudly say that He is indeed my great reward BSF just ended today and i am so thankful that i actually made it there for the last sharing day. I have been blessed by every single sharing and it is just comforting to see that i am not struggling on my own. It is unbelievable to see that God chose me to be involved in BSF, part of His amazing plan and purpose. Looking back,I have no regrets joining this leadership group though i have broke down so many times this year. This year is the first time for me to : have my own house - paying my own mortgage Have my own oikos lead discussion group in BSF It is challeng

I really like this summary about the people in Genesis that i got from BSF Teaching Leader She said God's people are to be separated from people of the world. They are in the world but do not look like the world Some examples : Abel - He gave the best portion to the Lord Noah - He went against the odds Rebekah - She was willing to go when called to be Isaac's wife Leah - Didnt obtained Isaac's love yet praised the Lord Abraham - He was generous to people around him Jacob - with faults but still continue learning and repenting Isaac - He was faithful and obedient to be sacrificed Do people describe you as of the world ? Glory to God Orange girl ;)

Another goodbye..another cry... another till we meet again. Tina is such a great woman of God. She is one of the few girls that i admire in my life. It is also through Tina that i actually feel God's love for me. I met Tina about 5 years ago when I first went to my church. I still remember vividly where and how i met her. It was on a combined oikos and she was sitting next to me. I havent even known her yet but she was already friendly with me. And up till today i never see her mad or angry with anyone and that is a character that i really want to be able to have. Since then whenever i went to oikos, i will always talk to her and we became good friends. She is such an inspiration to me. She never gossips, never talk bad about people, always so positive towards everyone she meets. She is never judgemental nor sensitive. She will put others need above herself. She will do her best not to make others feel burden. She loves her family and church so much. She is genuine and hardworkin

Do you know what Joseph's story is like? If not, go and read Gen 39 to 45 haha. I will summarise it for you though Joseph was born as the favorite child of Jacob because he was Rachel's son and Rachel is Jacob's favorite wife. Joseph was spoiled since he was young, he was given a very nice and exclusive robe by his father which his brothers didnt get. From there, his brothers started to get jealous of him. The peak was when he told them about the dreams that he got, that he was going to be the leader of the family and his brothers will bow down to him. Of course whoever heard it will be unhappy to know that, moreover this is his brothers who were jealous of him. So his brothers plot to kill him. But thanks to Reuben and Judah, he was spared and instead he was sold to Egyptian as slave. Not a very nice ending but he was alive. He was sold into Potiphar's household. GOD was always with him in whatever he did so he prospered, and Potiphar saw that. So he put Joseph in

Yes..how I wish the bullying that i have been sharing end there or as soon as possible.. But looks like it is getting worse and worse up to the point that yesterday i couldnt resist my tearing. I have no idea what i have done wrong to them but they are always scheming something evil towards me. They exaggerated simple things and make it big then will tell everyone that I am not doing my job and I am slacking. Well honestly for the past few days i have been having late lunch because i was just that busy with work. They reported me to one of the department head that i am being my own boss doing what i like that the supervisor actually came talk to me sinistically and looking down at me. It hurts. All the time i keep quiet bcos i know no matter what i say or how i defend myself, she wont Budge. That supervisor emailed to my manager who is on holiday and complained about me and those bunch of people who did bad to me also did the same. How i know it? Bcos my manager emailed me. I was thi

Psalm 5 8 Lord, I have many enemies. Lead me in your right path. Make your way smooth and straight for me. 9 Not a word from their mouths can be trusted. Their hearts are filled with plans to destroy others. Their throats are like open graves. With their tongues they tell lies. 10 God, show that they are guilty. Let their evil plans bring them down. Send them away because of their many sins. They have refused to obey you. 11 But let all those who go to you for safety be glad. Let them always sing with joy. Spread your cover over them and keep them safe. Then those who love you will be glad because of you. 12 Lord, you bless those who do what is right. Like a shield, your loving care keeps them safe. My enemies are many, unfortunately I have to spend 40 hours a week with them. These enemies are exactly like what is decribed in the verse above and I really want to pray the same prayer as verse 10. But it isnt right. God is surely in control and He will work all things f

Have you ever wrestled with God? Do you know what it mean to wrestle with Him? I never really thought about it too until i came across a weird passage during BSF. In Genesis 32,  a man appear to Jacob and wrestled with him until daybreak. If you read the passage carefully, you will soon find out that the man is actually God himself in human form. Perhaps Jesus? Not sure, but the point is why would God wrestle with Jacob? What is the point if we know for sure God will win? Whats even more interesting is here we see that Jacob won the fight. Okay lets rewind a little bit. What was the situation? Jacob was in distress because he heard that Esau was coming after him with 400 men. He was that panicked that he actually planned to divide his possesions and family into 2 troops hoping that if he has to sacrifice, at least he wont lose both. All his life Jacob has been depending on his own strength in doing everything. God gave him great talent skill and brain. He deceived his father that he

Following on my post on human nature, im going to share here about what happened just a few days ago. I was bullied again. Well at least thats what i thought. The same group of colleague who has some grudges towards me actually told my manager that i have some attitude problem. Which was very shocking bcos honestly if i was even angry at them, they will be as good as dead ( im exaggerating here) but the point is they were twisting stories after a series of things happened at work. It really got me into my nerve on that day and honestly i was so so so pissed. In one corner of my heart, God is speaking to me a few things which i really2 want to ignore up till now 1. Forgive them 2. Love them 3. Do not attack them but leave it to God 4. Ignore it, keep quiet and go back to point number 1 again I know that very clearly by heart as i was still angry but tried so hard to brush it off. At the same time trying to calm myself down and just keep quiet until one of the other colleagues ask

It really gets me into my nerves when i found out today that im being backstabbed from behind. Well its not literally backstab but similar. I will explain haha So... The employment status at my workplace isnot very good now. They are extending people's contract beCause they just dont have the fund to employ people. They are in debt. This means that about 50% of the workers will be affected. This includes me. Everyone is panicking. This has been happening since july and slowly we can see people left one by one. Am i panicking? O hell yea initially! haha but dunno why after 2 days of hearing the news i am no longer worrying about it.  i am okay bcos i know that God has everything under control. As simple as that. Believe it or not. Worst come to worst i just have to find a new job and i know God will sustain me So at work people have been talking about it,gossiping, telling each other about their worries up to the point that they actually neglect their work. In my mind, if they k

By this is my father glorified, that you bear much fruit. John 15:8 The glory of God is the single most important thing in the world to God. And therefore you glorifying God is the single most important thing you can do with your life. But if we were honest, most of us have little to no idea what that actually means. We talk about God’s glory in abstract ways. We talk about glorifying God in convoluted ways. And so at the end of the day, we know what everything is for –the glory of God –and what we should do –glorify Him –but we don’t know how to actually do it. Do we sing? Do we simply go around saying “for your glory” after every little thing we do and at the end of every prayer? Is it just that we know that everything is for the glory of God? If I’m a professional athlete, is it mentioning God’s name after I win a game? If I’m a designer, do I have to stitch a verse somewhere on my clothing? It can get pretty complicated and nebulous. Luckily, Jesus says it’s actually pretty sim

I left my purse somewhere today. Only realized after i hopped onto train. No turning back. All my nerves are screaming for me to go back and check,to find reasons to come late to work, find reasons to even call in sick and so on. The only thing that hindered me from doing that was it is hard to get doctor's certificate..how sad... I wish i could say that im doing it bcos i dont wanna lie and i trust in God. But honestly that was my first response. I started to panick. My credit card, atm card, gift card, superannuation card, driving license, and few hundreds dollars are in there..how can i be calm? But one thing i rmmbr was that i know is with me. Even if the worst has to happen i know im still in goodhand. That calmed me a lot. I started to be able to control my feeling. I realised that instd of devising my own plan  i should go to God, kneel down and pray for help. It was abit too late to realise but anw i just did the right thing. I asked God to send His angels to protect my p

Taking things for granted has been one of my greatest sins. It is so easy for me to complain, be jealous, envy and never satisfy. When i realise that this has been so rooted in me, it grieves me and i was put into shame. One of the things that i take for granted is my family. I rarely thank God for the family that i have, not realising that they are the best family that i can ever dream of I have the best dad in the world Literally... I could not ask for more. I have shared about my dad previously. This dad of mine, he is the most sacrificial dad i have ever known. He never complains about having 3 kids that always want this and that. He is my superhero, i cant count how many times i crashed into someone's else car while i was driving in indo, and when i had to deal with them, my dad is just as far as a phone car. No matter where he is he will fly all the way to the accident location and saved me. When he reached there, the first thing he did was stand by my side and protect me

Its so amazing!! Today i met the "angels" of the Lord. Not literally angels but thru them i was rescued. I left my keys today in my car and my sister already drove it to the station but i had my car keys and garage keys with me. In my mind i thought i have my gate key and house key. So careless! ! I was doing my homiletics before going out of the house and because of that i was in hurry,  i didnt have much time left to catch the next train. Lol. So i went out from my house, locked the door from inside and then i have to go thru my gate. Then i took out my key from my pocket gladly only in realization that i didnt have my gate key with me. Oh ow.! It was freezing cold this morning and i was trap in my own garden. How silly that was! Haha i felt so embarassed to even think about it. Then when i was very worried,the builder of my house who was in his car and about to go called out my name and asked me how i am. I told him straight away that I am locked.. U see, he didnt usua

Sigh... Yesterday night i was so into writing my blog that i actually typed it all out in my dark room cos im already ready to sleep haha but guess what, i accidentally deleted everthing.... T.T but anyway, i wont lose to the technology.haha So.. What prompt me to write this blog? Bcos.. . I have been blessed so much by this method of bible study. When i was reading my past entries of my blog, i realise that i have used a lot of references from the books i read, which is not bad, because those are still references from God..however the bad is that those revelations are for the authors and not so much to me. I used to depend on those books. My spiritual life could be dry when i wasnt reading as much. This year,  i am officially BSF group leader which means I have my own group and I have to do the Homiletics and everyday study questions. Imagine u have to cram all this into your busy week.. Sometimes i barely made it... I have to rush thru everything which is bad bcos the bible study w

Last saturday, after meeting Sally and I reached home, I felt so sad. Earlier she didnt attend BSF leaders meeting because she has a guest from Perth. That itself feels so different. . I am so used to Seeing Sally every Saturday morning and we will usually catch up about the week, But now, i could feel the difference later that day, I had dinner with Sally and her boyfriend and fanny which then I Found out that she wont be going to church on Sunday because she will be accompanying her boyfriend visiting Another church. Then that Was the moment I felt So sad, realising that exactly 20 days after  today, this is what going to happen, I will no longer see Sally at BSF,church or during prayer. I was just So sad, my best friend in Melbourne , Who has been through so much with me is leaving. I never like farewell anyway and especially this time is my Very bestie's turn.  I started to feel overwhelmed the more I think about it . The more I think about it , the more I'm lost and f

About 2 years ago i prayed for salvation for this best friend of mine "E". Her family background is very similar with mine so I know how hard it is to believe in Jesus. Plus, she studied uni in our hometown so the chance of her getting to know God is very limited. I rarely contact her because of our own business and time difference between here and Indonesia. Anyway, that was a quick prayer for a few times for her and a few others. Yesterday I chatted with her again. She is now in Beijing studying languange. To my surprise, she told me that she now attends church and even cell group! Wohoooooooo!!!! praise God. Actually whenever i went back for holiday , she always went to church with me,in fact she was the one who offered to go with me. at that time i just thought that maybe she just wanted to know what church is like cos durng my holiday, she only went once or twice with me. however,i believe that once or twice has actually touched her heart. So, i would really encourage

Last monday in BSF we learnt about Noah and the flood. I got so much out of it but today I really want to share about this specific verse " God remembered Noah " - Gen 8:1. One of the questions in the homework was what does it mean that God remembered Noah? Well, at first I didnt have the answer to that. I was thinking to myself, does that mean that God ever forget about Noah? that is so mean haha but that was what my initial perception until God gave me a revelation God remembered Noah means that He takes care of him, He loves and He provides for him. God reminds me that He is not like human where we forgets alot. We forget to pray for others even though 2 hrs before that we just promise to pray for them. We forget to thank God when we safely reach our destination. We forget to do this and that. Basically, we are very forgetful. The only thing that God forgets is our sins when Jesus died on the cross for us. God also tells me that just as He never forgets Noah, He also nev

For the past two days, i have been having intense panic attack. I felt so scared and fearful for some reasons and the reason was ridiculous.. i was scared of having driving test. I know it sounds silly but it's true. I couldnt sleep on sunday night and even when i slept, I dreamt of the test which i failed. It affected my mood on monday and the whole day my mood was just gloomy. It only got better after I went to bible study fellowship and as i talked to some people. I even had to sit up, push up, do some exercise to let myself be tired and drank a cup of chamomile tea on monday night.. yet the dreams came back. There was no peace at all and i couldnt concentrate on prayer or bible study. It is such as irony because my oikos member had similar problem and i asked her to pray and read the bible. Yet when its my turn, i failed. The reason behind the panic was i guess i know that i cant fail the test. i can only use my overseas license up to 26 april this month and i would not be ab

Yesterday was a hard day for me Reason behind is I had to face insult from my fellow worker this worker keeps on triggering anger in me and I have to restraint my anger so many times she would say something like: So your sister is also a Christian? And i say : yes She : you are so bad.  How can you do that? ( she was saying this as if im forcing my sister to believe in the same faith) me : i didnt force her (up to this point my steam was already at the top of my head and i almost exploded. I had to look away and did sth else for not getting angry) She : you must have been brain washed Me : i wouldnt call that brain washed. She did apoligize for using harsh words. but she was saying it half heartedly and laughing so it really pissed me off I tried to avoid her for the whole day cos the words just pierced my heart. But the Holy Spirit kept on reminding me to love my neighbour and i was really in agony... like literally, my flesh was asking me to do one thing and my heart was

This year in BSF we are studying Genesis. I have never thought that the basis of everything can be found in Genesis. Genesis has been like a story book for me and doesnt really carry deep meaning other than telling us that we are all Adam's descendants and thus we are sinners. However.. only 3 chapters of study, my eyes are opened to the things that I never see and think before. today.. God finally brought me to a realisation that I am like Eve in so many ways. The devil uses me like how he used Eve. And the silly thing is I fall into His trap even though Eve's example should have been a warning for me. There are 2 main steps that the Satan tempted Eve. First, he caused Eve to think that God has kept something good away from her. Eve was allowed to eat from any fruit from the trees in Eden but not the tree of evil and life. The devil makes her think that God is bad bcos He doesnt want Eve to eat from that tree. he obviously stir the focus of Eve from all the blessings that

I know i have posted how blessed i am this birthday but i think i forgot the most important thing of all That is the friendship and family i have I am not born to be a sociable person. In fact it has been my struggle since i came to melbourne. one of the main reasons was language problem which i tried my best by talking in english and improve my indo language. i dont have many friends to begin with... i only have 4 best friends back in school... but this year God really answers my prayer. He bless me so much in this area. Firstly it is my church friends 1.prayer warriors tonight, i had 3 of my best mates organised a birthday dinner with me. They brought me to this korean restaurant called Gami. They bought me a customised cake, orange colour!! Haha.. and they bought me a blender (since i just moved house)..we had great night. We talk about anything. this moment is irreplaceable. This moment is unforgetable. This moment is bliss. Thank u girlssssss... Of cos im also blessed by the