Favor of God

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. If you see me as a brave, strong and independent girl, then you are wrong. I appear to be a brave, strong, independent and smart girl, but deep down inside me, I am a very negative person (sadly T.T). I wasnt brought up in a family where every good things that I did was recognized. When I got good marks, or top ranks in my class, my parents never praise me but consider it as a natural thing for me because I am smart. I am always being compared to my siblings because I am the cleverest among all (which is bad, because I give pressure to them, but what can I do? they are typical Asian parents. lol). To cut it short, I never receive any word of encouragement. As a result, I always seek approval and attention from people around me just to receive praises and compliments from them. This has made me become a person who always compare myself to others. I never like myself, or even worse proud of myself. I always see others better than me, I've grown to become someone who doesnt love myself and always wanted to be like other people, ie. i dont have any identity and keep on swaying here and there.

That's a very sad story about me isnt it? unfortunately, that is the real picture behind the so called "brave, strong and independent" girl like me. Guess what, till now that I've found out the root of my problems, which is my own thoughts. Recently I read a book by Joel Osteen called " 7 steps to living at your full potential". I recommend you that book if you are a kind of person who is similar to me : always negative, dont dare to hope, only expect mediocrity, and accept whatever comes through in life. The book has just opened my eyes ( wohoo.... doesnt mean I am totally confident now). I want to quote a few things from this book. It says " no matter how many setbacks you've suffered, God still has a great plan for your life. You must get your hopes up. If you dont have hope, you wont have faith. and if you dont have faith, you cant please God, and you wont see His power revealed in your life". OMG, that's so true. A lot of times, because I have been imitating a lot of people that I admire, I have always been disappointed (of cos, I am not them, I will never be able to be like them). Due to the disappointments that I faced, slowly I dont dare to expect extraordinary things in my life anymore. Ultimately, I am satisfied with my current state. But Osteen said never be satisfied with mediocrity, because God has so much more things that He wants to give me. Dont let my own thoughts limit myself from doing great things that God has already prepared. He gave a very good story in that book:

There was a guy (years ago), who wanted to go to Europe from America. Back then, there was no airplane, so he could only take cruise. He was very poor so he worked every penny to buy the ticket. Finally, he saved enough money to buy the ticket. In his suitcase, he put crackers and cheese that will last him for 2 weeks along the journey. When he was onboard, all the other passengers will go to the dining hall to have their gourmet meals, and he will sit around the corner of his room and ate his crackers and cheese while smelling the smell from the delicious food being served in the dining room. He wanted to join them, but he didnot have enough money. He would dream about eating the nice meals few nights. Towards the end of the meal, a man came up to him and ask : sir, i cant help but to ask why didnot you join us for meals at the hall and eat crackers and cheese instead? He answered: because I do not have money to pay for the meals. the man was surprised and said : " didnt you know that the meals are included in the ticket price?"

Sadly this is what I just realise. I am like this poor man. Although I belong to the kingdom of heaven, and God is my father, I didnot take the privilege as His daughter. Instead, I was living in my own world not knowing that I can claim the abundance that God owns. everytime when I say to myself : I cant do this, I wouldnot be able to make it, I am shrinking myself down and eating the "crackers and cheese", not knowing that God has already prepared the banquet for me ( Jesus has literally paid the price on the cross). A very good quote from the book : it is not the circumstances that make you down, but it is your own thoughts about your life circumstances that make me down. That is exactly what's happening to me, sometimes I can be very moody. I can say that my mood will largely be determined by the circumstances around me, if I am blessed on that day I will be happy, but if I am facing problems, then I will cry about my situation. I will reason myself to : if only I am like her, I will be able to do this and that; If only I have a boyfriend, he can send me home and I dont have to be lonely, if only I have more money, I can do this and that. If I want to mention all the if only, this blog would not be able to hold all those (haha). But since I read that book, I realise that I have been so narrow minded, I should not focus on myself, but I should focus on God. the things that for men are impossible, they are possible for God.

One new thing that I learnt from this book is to declare favor of God in my life. Often we do not get the things that we want is because we do not ask for it. Same as favor of God, when we acknowledge God in our lives, we would be able to allow God to work in our lives. Anyway God has said : all things work for the good for people who love Him. All things, underline the words : all things. That means even if your coworker treat you badly, it is for your own good. We may not see it now but God will reveal it one day. When I woke up in the morning, I started to pray this way : Thank you father that you have favor in me. I believe that today I will meet people that will help me, they will treat me differently because I belong to you.  trust me, it works. Let me tell you, I started to work on national foods (samples from one of our main customers in my company) yesterday. Usually there are so many paperwork that we need to do on that day, but when I did that yesterday, suddenly the people from national foods came and have meeting with my manager and team leader. they decided that we can throw away all the paperworks because we dont have to deal with those anyway. I was thrilled!! They have been working with national foods for years and they could have changed it this way since years ago,why would they do that NOW? then another great things happen today as well. As I have shared, I go to volunteer every week. for the past few weeks I havent been very productive because I did not know how to approach people (you know, when they are sick, they are not "tame" at all). I ended up feeling useless. however, this morning I prayed again : Lord, you know that I am volunteering today, and I thank you for your favor. I believe that today I will be able to do great things in the hospital and everything will be smooth". Guess what, I am enjoying my every moments there. I spoke with many patients and their relatives, I made many cups of coffee and tea for them, I make them smile (Wheeeee =) ), what's even more amazing is that when I talked with this one lady, she asked me: so what time are u finishing? I said 7, then she asked me how I am getting home, I said with public transport. She asked me to be careful and she even taught me a few tricks if there's any bad guy comes to disturb me. at the end of our conversation she gave me a body spray which she always brings everywhere she goes so that I can use it if I meet bad guy!! you guess, I couldnot thank God enough for His goodness, isnt God wonderful? It's true that when you believe that you have God's favor in your life, everything will work for your good. That doesnt mean that I will always encounter goodness, but it means that even when bad incidents happen in life, I know that God's favor is in me and the situation will turn around. =)

If you are reading this blog and you feel that you are facing similar type of problems as me, read the book, it helps. I would not be able to explain every single details from the book so just read it. LOL.

All glory to God

Orange girl ^^


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