love does not keep the records of wrongdoings

Have you ever experienced a time when you look at a Christian and his/her life and thought : how can she/he do that even though she/he is a Christian? 
she is a worship leader, how can she cheated on her boyfriend?
He is a cell group leader, how could he plays around with people's heart?

Honestly, those are the questions that have ever crossed my mind, well, not just ever, but frequently.. And I start to wonder, God, how can you let this happen? I mean should not a leader be a good leader? You know what I mean. A lot of times I was sad seeing how they can be so hypocrite. However, God has taught me so many things through this. finally I have learnt that it is not up to me to judge my fellow brothers and sisters.

The first thing that God teaches me was to look at myself
When I ask : How can she/ he cheat on someone without feeling guilty?
God asks me : and what about you? How can you do this.. and that.. when you yourself is a prayer warrior , singer, usher, and most importantly.. my daughter?
Then I argue: Well.. but God.. at least I have repented
God then says: Do you always repent straight away? How many times do I have to slap you through the Holy Spirit before you realise ?
Then I said again: But I did repent, look at them, they dont
God then answers: It is not up to you to judge them. My time is not your time and my way is higher than yours. 
me : hmm.. (still stubborn)

After so many incidents, I realise that there;s a pattern in my thoughts. that is I unconsciously always think myself better than others, if not, how could I judge them? I always think that I have repented on certain things, but without realising, I sin in the other area. God says that all sins are the same to him, no matter if it's big or small, so am I not the same as those whom I judge?

God then reminded me again about the most fundamental thing : Matthew 22: 
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

What hits me the most is : Love your neighbor as yourself. God asks me to love them instead of judging them. love? what kind of love?
1 Corinthians 13 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

When the Holy Spirit reminds me about that, im like.. wait a moment, I am not God, how can I do that? 
The fact is we all still fall short of glory, that is why we need God who can renew us each and every single day. That is why we need Him to teach us how to love like Him. If we can love like Him, Im sure there is no need for Jesus to put love as the greatest commandment.  Because we are not God and God is love, that is why we need to always learn how to love because we are created in His image. 

It was hard initially for me to accept the people that I know, but God is good, when I pray to Him to ask for strength and to extend my love, God slowly helps me to do them.
at the same time, God also teaches me another thing, that is to be a keeper
It is a temptation for any females to tell stories about other people. Whenever we gather in a group, we tend to talk about other people instead of ourselves cos we dont wanna look weak in front of other girls, agree girls? haha..
I realise that it is wrong to talk about other people at the same time listen to what other people say about other people. the temptation is so strong!! it's so easy for me to fall into the temptation when people start to talk about a particular person, and then the discussion goes on and on..

I think we need to learn how to draw a line between acceptable conversation and unacceptable conversation. It is even wrong if XXX comes to you just to share about her problems with YYY who is your friend as well because that may give you bad impression towards YYY. I would suggest that if you know someone who needs to talk about her problem, you can suggest them to go to their church leader (pastor), firstly because we want to avoid any bad thoughts the person who share it or the other person. secondly, our church leader may know the solution to the problem better than us.

I am still learning in this area, as I said, there're so many temptations and theory is always easier than practical, but who believes that with God everything is possible??


All glory to God,

Orange girl =)


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