I want to be honest

All this while I think I have been wearing a mask everyday of my life, or at least when dealing with other people and today i want to take off that mask and show others my true colour.

Reason behind me wearing a mask is because first, i want to avoid conflict. I dislike it if i have to be uncomfortable with other people so id rather be peaceful and avoid conflict..this means when someone says something that i disagree with, most of the time i will just go ahead, agree with them ( though initially i would disagree but when the atmosphere gets weird i will just agree ). Or maybe smtimes i just keep quiet and thought "oh well let them be if thats what they wanna think", which is also not right bcos im being arrogant and ignorant. Secondly, i think i care too much of what others think abt me. I dont want others to think how can a Christian behave such and such or i dont want others to see the dark side of me. Thirdly , i just want to run away. I want people to think im okay bcos i dont want to open up or at least feel like opening up because then i will be vulnerable.

Living like this , i realise is very tiring. Slowly it affects my prayer life and my quiet time with God. I feel like a hypocrite and no longer i can be pure in front of God and slowly i no longer spend time with God.

I want to learn to be honest, to myself and to others.

All glory to God
Orange girl :)


  1. Hello!. I saw your blog and some post and they are really interesting. Actually I don't know how I found it or what I was looking for. Anyway.
    I just want to comment that I feel sometime like you write in this post (actually right now jeje) and it is really as you say at the three points. No one want to be vulnerable and sometimes we have some fear of what people think about us... once and again we forget what the bible say: looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). That is more important that everything. :)

    Good post.

    btw: Sorry for my english,I'm a native spanish speaker and my english it's not very well.

    btw2: What's your name if I can know?

    1. Hello there.

      Thank you for the great feedback.
      Really glad to know that there are people out there who also face similar troubles and it is good to share.

      Your english is good. Mine is not that great either as english is not my native language. So dont worry :)

      Im Sheila. :) what about yourself?

  2. Hello, Thank you for your replied, Actually your english is pretty good, believe me, mine is not, It's basic but enough to have a conversation and read.

    I'm Hans, I'm from Panamá...and I think you won a reader on the other end of the world.

    I added you to google+, I hope there is not problem for that.



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