He is for you and not against you

If you notice the amount of entries i posted this year, i can conclude that this year is the least. The reason is simple, i  just have been far from God. I know he is near to me but i withdraw myself. I started to read His words lesser and lesser, i hardly prayed, hardly talk about Him and soon enough He is not a priority of my life anymore. I would admit that most of the times my ministries become a show. I still all of them but my heart was long gone. I guess some part of my heart still want to fix the problem of backsliding that i have, some just cant let others see that i have changed and not as close to God anymore, some just habit, whatever the reason is, it is just not right anymore.
It is embarassing to admit it.

The turning point is that when i realise the joy i have with the Lord is gone and i want it back. Nowadays i never satisfied with anything. And i realise i have been loving in worldly ways and that causes it. That is when i know i need to return to the Lord. If you remember the story of prodigal son in the bible, i am exactly like that. Like the son,I have spent all the blessings that God gave me, even misused them. And now i have nothing, i realise no matter what i do it is never enough then i remember how good it is to be close to God just like when the prodigal son remember how good it is to be at his father's house.

So then i decided to try to pray more again. It is hard as i need to form the habit again. One of the different things that i try for the past 20 days was using my lunch time to go for a walk at  the park near my workplace for the quiet time. I just thought since the weather is bearable nowadays and it is good to walk and smell fresh air, lets do it. I dont always pray everyday, sometimes i read His words, sometimes i called home, and other times i just pray and contemplate on things happening around me.

So last week something very encouraging happened that i want to share. As i was praying, i was compelled to pray for others rather than myself (this is also another thing that i want to learn that is to put others' interest above myself). Then somehow i thought of how someone from my cell group. The Holy Spirit led me to have the urge to tell God's msg for her(dont ask me how i got this bcos i myself not sure im hearing it right. Actually i wasnt sure of the whole process). However i couldnt find any verse to tell her and i was stuck then i just continue pray random prayer. Suddenly this words " For He is for you and not against you" stucked on my mind among other things. I couldnt think of whether thats from the bible, so again i was battling with myself thinking whether thats right or not. Again i also searched in my heart whether my motive was right because i could be doing it so i could appear good in front of this person. I just told God pls make my motive right. Suddenly i thought to myself (after not getting any confirmation from God) : oh well, even if i didnt it right, God says He works all things good for those who love Him so somehow i have that faith that it wont be in vain.

I picked up my mobile, started texting her and this is what i say :
Hi... im not sure if im hearing it right but i think God wants to tell u that He is for u and not against u and He also wants to say its alright

Then just sent it. Haha. Sent with faith..
Not long after that she replied me and said

Shed tears as I read your text. You are hearing it right.. I have been listening to bethel song: you make me brave, as I felt God spoke to me through that song..
"As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us
You are not against us..." It's a confirmation for me.. Thanks dear for being such a blessing xx

I was in tears too! It didnt only blessed her and for her confirmation but it also blesses me because the fact that God still uses me is just overwhelming. I would have thought He wouldnt even look at me anymore after what i have done. The fact is just amazing and encouring for me that He still want to use me despite my weaknesses and shortcomings.

Whatever your struggle is right now, know thag God is always for you and not against you. Yes you may not always have the right motive like i do, and yes you dont always pray right or even pray, but one thing i know is if God still wants to use me, He wants to use you too. You have been redeemed with His precious blood, stop condemning yourself and start living in victory. My friend once told that in front of others, we are sinners but in front of God we are righteous. Dont be ashamed to come to God. He will never point His finger at you; instead He looked at you with loving eyes and opening arms.

On top of that, what i learnt from BSF that could testify to this is when Jesus prayed at Gethsemane (Matt 26). He was in agony, so much that he asked Peter, John and John to accompany him to pray. Yet they fell asleep; not just once but 3 times. Was Jesus disappointed? Yes of course, He was human. He said cant you stay awake for an hour? But at the same time he was caring for them too, his response was telling them to be alert and keep in prayer because the devil is cunning. His concern was that if they continues to sleep, they will be prone to be attacked.
Another example was when Jesus was betrayed by Judas. He knew that Judas was going to betray him, yet Judas was allowed to be there with him all the time, he was there during last supper. Jesus actually gave a lot of opportunities for Judas to repent but Judas chose to betray.
Do you feel that you have betrayed God? Or you have disappointed Jesus again and again like Peter and the other disciples? If knowing all that,Jesus still chose them to be His disciples, you can be assured too , knowing that the next second you are going to disappoint Him, Jesus still choose you.

God's love for you is always PRESENT..not past or future, so stop dwelling on your past and start to choose to be with God in your ups and downs.

Glory to God
Orange girl :)