only God can satisfy our soul (one month journal)

ournalling my daily walk with God on my phone since the first day I broke up and would like to share some here, hope it might encourage some of you in any difficult situations you are in right now:

30 August 2015 - the day before I broke up , when my emotion was in turmoil
Today church sermon is about managing your emotion

Colosians 3 :13 says let peace of God rule your heart

The sermon also says identify your emotion then challenge it

Dont let your emotion control you

The song really strengthens me too


PertolonganMu begitu ajaib
Kau t'lah memikat hatiku
Disaat aku tak sanggup lagi
Disitu tanganMu bekerja
PertolonganMu begitu ajaib
Kini mataku tertuju padaMu
Kurasakan kasihMu Tuhan

31 Aug 2015 - I will strengthen you and help you
Today again from salt and light (devotion at work), the message i receive is
Isa 41:8-10
... for i have chosen you
And will not throw you away
Dont be afraid , for i am with you
Dont be discouraged for i am your God
I will strengthen and help you..

Work out salvation (phil 2:12)
Fight our battles in partnership with Him
Fight good fight of faith (1 tim 6:12)
He is able to give us strength to do his work (1 tim 1:12)
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me

Message of the day is keep fighting
Even my lockscreen says : never out of fight

Later on today
As i look at news feed i found my BSF member post exactly the same verse as i got today. Isaiah 41:8-10. Amazing !

Then on 2 Sep 2015
A friend from church sent me the same verse (Isa 41:8-10) again

On 18 Sep 2015
Same verse came up on the small devotion a friend gave me thats sitting on my desk at work.

31 Aug 2015 - Restoration
Just when im crushed God once again speak to me thru other people
This time it is another friend from BSF who gave me this verse

The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.
Jeremiah 31:3-4 NIV

I believe that He will restore me therefore i shouldnt worry

1 Sep 2015 - It is all part of the plan

Listened to Steven Furtick's sermon today
Genesis 16
Sarai - control freak -barren
Haggar - helpless -burdened

"Realise that we dont have much control but we have choice "
"Until you stop blaming, you'll never see the blessing "

God is a promised keeper. Along the way Abraham and Sarah made mistake yet they still received Isaac- the promised son.

"God will work it in -all your failures and successes "

Jacob [later] was helped by Ishamelites the descendants that were never part of His plan

It was mistake that led to miracles
"It doesnt mean that bad decision isnt without consequence but bad decision isnt beyond redemption "
You can still have hope, love, relationships, peace, joy.

"God has a plan and we have a part . Not vice versa. "

When you submit to God just as Haggai submitted, God can bless you abundantly

"Refuse to live in despair but choose God "

7 Sep 2015 - Faith

Listened to Steven Furtick's sermon on Theres nothing here to see - 1 Kings 19

"The opposite of faith is not doubt but sight "
" Faith means seeing beneath the surface "

Its all about perspective.
God has already prepared something great for me when I can come out of the cave

There's still hope, there's still joy and promise.
God still wants me and still wants to use me

8 Sep 2015 - Cheer up

Listening to Steven's sermon on Beating burnout

He shared that we should cheer up cos God has overcome the world. Dont let your circumstances control how you feel but feel good knowing who is in your circumstances. When you are close to God and His face shines, then you too will reflect on the same thing. Numbers 6 - the Aaronic prayer

The verse stucked was luke 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.

It is not only talking about giving money, but also your happiness, your time, your emotion etc.

The verse stacks that i have on work was also on that Luke 6:38.

9 Sep 2015 - Move on and wait upon the Lord

PSalm 37:7 be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act
These days I've been getting message about wait upon the Lord. Which i think at every situation it is very helpful to know that. However today i gain another revelation that unless i move on from whatever i feel, God cant work in my life.

Hes revealed to me in the past it took Him so long to work on me cos i still linger in the past, have old mindset and all so He cant give sth new to me unless i give all that up
Similarly this time, if i keep thinking abt "if only" then i wont be able to received greater calling and blessing that He has prepared for me

10 Sep 2015 - Trust in the Lord

Yesterday i got the verse from Jeremiah 17:7-8 as i listened to sermon from Holly Furtick
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord , whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV
Then again today as i woke up, i feel so terrible. Flushed by all the memories again and feel stuck in the same situation. Yearning and longing for the past.
I looked at my bible app and theres this verse
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 NIV
LaTer on today , a friend from BSF sent me Prov 3:5 which says
Trust in the Lord and lean not on own understanding ,acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make ur path straight

12 Sep 2015 - I am special
Todaay went to Salvos workshop on hearing God's voice and was prayed for my situation which made me realise about the bitterness that I harbored because of the breakup. and then I felt that God doesnt want me to give up so I asked for signs but as I was prayed a few times the word dont give up never resurfaced. Instead I've gained revelation from the lady who talked to me after the class.
When she prayed she told me that i need to be plugged to the source which is God to gain power for myself and this is not to be given out. She said that I am also serving and giving out but this is time to stay connected to God.
Also before i left she told me that i am very special in a way that i have special calling. Therefore God makes sure that only certain type of guy will suit me to maximise the calling He has for my life. This break up just means that He will bring greater opportunity to come into my life. Of cos he is a great guy but if he cant fit me in terms of this then it's still not gonna be okay. I feel so refreshed after knowing this revelation. It could be the other way as well whereby I am not a suitable partner for the calling God has for him.

14 Sep 2015 - Again ! GOD CONFIRMS
Okay so for the past 2 wks the theme of my life has been surrounding on Isaiah 41 :10 and God can fulfill my needs according to His riches. Then again todayyy !!! All verses appear on one devotion
On top of that today from salt and light devotion I receive a beautiful verse which i never know existed which is Hab 2:3 :
This vision is for a future time, it describes the end and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.

Then later on today at abt 330 pm when I read the story of marriage book, the verse resurfaced ! My goshhhhh .. now it makes so much sense because the part of the book says that we need to have vision for our marriage and im guessing God wants me to build my vision? Lets see ;)

14 Sep 2015 - Forgiveness and fear
yesterday night I had another episode of heartbrokenness. All the sudden I poured myself out in tears again because I felt so overwhelmed with the truth that he was really not into me at all. Ive never felt so rejected, and so disgusted before. Even at the thought of it, I felt sick and lose my appetite straight away. the fact that all this time I thought he likes me and it was wrong, it was so devastating, especially after all that I've done for him. the more I think about it, the more I felt so stupid.. and long before I realise, the bitterness inside me grows deeper.

I realised I needed to clear this feeling because it means unforgiveness...i talked to a friend and she encouraged me a lot and gave me words of wisdom which I screencaptured. and then later as I continue reading the story of marriage book, it touches topic about unforgiveness and fear. I realise forgiveness Is really a choice and command from God. I cant expect to be healed if I don’t learn to forgive. I need to realise that he is human too. he made mistakes and I do too.. so why should I focus so much on his?
The only way out is to realise that Jesus is enough for me.

I also realise because of all the bitterness inside me, I have fear that I wont be able to trust anyone, fear to love again, fear to trust again.. and this fear is not healthy. The only solution to this is to love again, because love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18-19). "without knowledge of God's true nature, we will live in constant fear of abandonment by Him or by our spouses which is twisted form of punishment."

"we must learn to trust God to care for our hearts, even if a spouse wounds, rejects or betrays us"

Psalm 147: 3 He heals those who have broken hearts. He takes care of their wounds"

17 Sep 2015 - Fear of loneliness
Today suddenly i was panicked with the fact that im all alone and will have so much time on my hand and nothing to do. I started to find volunteer job or casual job to keep myself occupied. Yet inside me i still feel Im lacking of contentment and excitement for life.

And i realise the root of this is my fear of loneliness and it is my habit to find way out asap instead of being still and wait upon the Lord. Today again i received the Isaiah 41:10 but it didnt click to me till now.

God told me that theres season to everything. Not everyday is exciting, and maybe this is my dry season, but why worry because one day this too will pass. The question is whether i will choose to trust God or act on my own will. Then again He said He wants me to learn to be contented in every situation because Jesus is sufficient. He also led me to think again, from the beginning Satan has been cunningly led us focus on 1 thing , that is the thing we dont have than the 99 things we have. If i notice, when im single i focus on why i dont have partner, then when im in a relationshp, i focus on what i dont have in my partner, again when im married prob i will focus on why i havent had child (for example). The bottom line is he likes us to focus on our lack than our abundance and i shouldnt fall on the same trap.

I have to be able to learn to trust God and that means not trusting that He will give me what i want but TRUST IN HIS LEADING AND CONTROL OF MY LIFE and that i have all i need in this season .

23 Sep 2015 - God is my helper
I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord , who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.
Psalms 121:1-8 NLT

25 Sep 2015 - Be strong, take heart, wait on the Lord
one of my girls shared this verse on group chat:
Psalm 27:13-14
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord

my sister tagged me this on instagram:

How amazing it is that God speaks to me even thru media bcos He knows how much i rely on myphone and theres nothing wrong with that. Now that i know haha.
N yesterday i was crying to Him telling that thou i dont understand but i will keep on trusting. I guess again its abt trusting God as His ways and thoughts are higher than mine.
Later today God remind me again about His faithfulness
When i cant move on from my previous ex, He was there to hold my hands
When i almost lost my chance to get Permanent Residence He again rescued me
When my career seems stuck, He gave me the desire of my heart and open the door that seems impossible and promoted me
so this time He will again prove himself to be faithful and He will not give something that i don't like but He will align His will to my life and vice versa. It is partnership with God.
He also reminds me that faithfulness means sticking thru thick and thin. Which means i praise Him not only when i am delivered but also to trust Him when i am in deep pit
I jst need to be still and find the open doors when He reveals to me. If He can bring a job that seems impossible for me or PR that is very unlikely to happen then He too can bring the right person I'm longing

He also revealed that i need to be broken from my pride, my confidence in myself, my knowledge and everything before He can use me and that i have Jesus as my cornerstone

25 Sep 2015 - let go and let His blessing flow
Pastor Prince preached such powerful message on this
main points:
notice the area where u worry the most is the area where u don’t receive much blessing . while the other areas God just blesses.
the opposite of belief is not unbelief but to labor
to labor means not to rest. Noah names mean rest and in Genesis 6 it says Noah found grace and God also rested on 7th day, it doesn mean that He is tired but it just means that he has peace.
we need to let peace of God rest in us

28 Sep 2015 - Anxiety issues
Ive been having trouble sleeping probably since a month ago, ever since i broke up and i didnt realise it until it got worse and worse that i woke up so many mornings and cant sleep and full of anxiety and worries. At first i thought it was the devil's attack but today i found out it wasnt.

This morning when i couldnt sleep thinking so much stuff, mainly about the relationship, i played JP's sermon and that helps a little and then the Holy Spirit led me to read Psalm 23.

I decided to memorise it. But i couldnt understand verse 4 which was "his rod and staff comfort me".
 Until later on i listen to Furtick's sermon and he mentioned about the shepherd who uses the rod and staff to guide the flock of sheep.  Those rod and staff are also used to discipline the sheep and keep it close to the shepherd. Notice how amazing God can align the sermon that I listened to the question I had in my heart earlier the day.

Then later today a friend asked to meet me.
Little that i realised that meeting was so powerful. I was enlightened bcos before we parted she told me how she thinks my mistake is. She feels that i tried too much and forgot to relax. Im always so tense and sometimes bcos i want to be busy so badly, when theres spare 5 mins ,im in chaos and dont know what to do. Thats so true bcos thats what i felt. I was reminded again about the prophecy that i received few wks ago where June told me that im always giving out but never plug myself to the power. So i should plug myself to God and thats for myself, not to give out.

Later on Furtick's sermon also touches on that we need to be loved before we can send out the love because we cant give something we dont have.

30 Sep 2015 - Ask, Seek, and Knock
Yesterday while listening to Furtick sermon, he said something like he prayed that God will open His eyes to see the passage the way he never saw before and God gave him understanding

I was inspired by that and somehow my heart was moved

this morning again I woke up in the middle of the night, normally because of anxiety and worries, but this time with a verse that is : Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.

It still didn’t quite register to me at that time yet what It meant, the only thing from my own understanding is that God wants me to ask Him things and it is fine.
later the Youversion bible app verse was on Jeremiah 33:3-4

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. (NIV)
‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own. (MSG)

Then I suddenly realise, maybe God wants me to ask him the things that I couldn’t see on my own so I just prayed. and still waiting

The same verse on Matthew 7:7 appeared again on salt and light devotion later the day at work, it is another confirmation that the verse I received earlier was not from my own but something God wants me to do.

Tonight was the best night ever. Even when i think about the past i no longer feel sad or regret and beat up but just really feel that my life is not lacking and God is all i need. I hope that this will last from today to forever bcos this is the first time I have ever felt so good being alone with God.

So there you go, how my emotion changes daily basis and how God has been faithfully holding me up with His right hand. The battle of thoughts is all the time on my head but God's words have been the cured all the time. The more I spent time with God, the more I meet Him, the more I receive healing, answers to prayer, even my eyes were opened to see things i ve never known before such as my need to be plugged in to God, the more my cup is filled with God's love. He also revealed to me all the wrong motives that I have and my prayer is being refined daily. Now i pray when Im in the shower, when Im driving, when im pipetting, when im in the toilet, whenever and wherever. It is so true that Romans 8:28
and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.

He has turned my adversity to draw me closer to Him


Orange girl =)


  1. Hi, just a word of encouragement. Be like Joshua and stand firm in your faith.


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