It is not coincident

I cant believe that it's only 2 weeks ago that I updated my blog. It feels as if it's been a month. LOL.
Anyway.....i really really really have to share this
God is good all the time
all the time God is good
God is good all the time
all the time God is good
He is really good!! He's marvelous!! He's awesome!!
Let me share this with you : nothing happens because of coincidence
I can tell you that even now when you are reading this, He has planned it.
Okay, back to the topic I wanna share with you :
So I was quite dry spritually, I dunno why that happened but maybe I was distracted with the worldly stuff, even when I read my devotional books (a woman's walk with God), I felt very discourage and I was not renewed each and every single day anymore, even thou yes I did pray and read His word. Till yesterday, I came to "Pray for Indonesia" night, I was "slapped" by God. The sermon was about hero, loser and betrayer. A loser is someone who you can refer to as "no action talk only" : so he/ she always agree to everything for example : let's make this and that, but they never initiate. A betrayer is someone who loves God, yet has sex before marriage, take drugs, find another woman/man outside even thou they are already married, and many more. I realise about the sin that I commited that was so bad, that made me realize that I can raise up my hand, sing for God, jump, pray and devote my time for Him, yet I am not a doer of His word (like fully obey Him), I am a loser/betrayer. It striked me so much that I felt ashamed to ask for forgiveness, yet, I know that I should not let the devil thought controls my mind. The Lord has said that when we confess our sins, He is just to forgive them, and I believe that. Yet, that doesnt mean that I can just say sorry and that's it. I have to show the Lord that I mean it and I wont repeat the same mistake anymore. YET, you need to know that humans are not perfect, there are probabilities that we may repeat the same mistake, what's important is the turning point. no matter how many times you have repeated it, as long as you commit yourselves to change, God is faithful to forgive you when you confess it. Allow the Holy Spirit to change you inside out.
Enough of the first sharing, so I have mentioned that I was so dry spiritually, but because I know how it feels when I am close with God, I really wanna feel the same again. So.. I bought few Christian books from Koorong, and one of them that I am reading was "The heavenly man", it is so good!! I havent finished it yet but it has been an  inspiration for me and has allowed me to ponder a lot of stuff. At the same time, I have learnt a lot of things too : learn to sacrifice for the sake of Christ, learn to live to the fullest and live for His glory, live to fulfill the purpose that God has designed for us, and the importance of spreading the word of God. On the side, it also encourages me to start memorising verses.

So.. here's the interesting part, I have promised a friend of mine that I am going to give "purpose driven life" book to him, but I have not got the chance to give it to him because of several reasons. In the end, he bought the book by himself, so I still have the book with me. Interestingly, I dunno why I have the urge to re-read the book again. I have to admit that the first time when I read the book,I was not that "into" it. Most of the times, I read few chapters in a day, other times I skimmed through it. This time, I really pay attention to every single word that is in there, and I obey it (including the one that is at the end of each day where there is a verse to memorise, I even memorise them : for the first time in my life , esp the name of the books, chapter and verse number), LOL. till today, I am on day 3 by the way. =) I started to wonder about the purpose of my life (at this point of time I havent known it yet). By the way, there is another thing that bothers me too, and that is "preaching the word of God". I really want to share the gospel like how "the Heavenly man" did, and as you can read from my previous blog, I really wanna be a missionary, yet I dunno how, I have no idea how to start.

So.. today another interesting thing happened. I happened to know that BIC (Bethany International Church) is going to hold Christmas Celebration at 6pm from my friend this morning, but I have told myself that I will go to Bridge Church (I have been wanting to go there even before I finished my exam). however, at the same time I know that I love BIC praise and worship too, so it's become a dilemma for me but in the end I still chose to go to Bridge (stick to my initial plan). So I went out from my apartment at 4.21pm, the tram from Collins st was scheduled to come at 4.26pm, so I thought I can make it, but the tram just passed right in front of me. Then I went to flinders street, again, the tram passed in front of me. I had to wait another 15 mins if I want to catch the next tram. I changed my plan cos I dont wanna be late for church. so then I went to BIC. The praise and worship was awesome!! 4 thumbs up, LOL. I sang till I lost my voice now, hahaha ( and I have to sing for my church tomorrow T.T). But what's even more surprised is the drama itself. I can tell you that It was the best live drama that I have ever seen in my life. I am not joking.

Let me share with you a little bit about the drama because it is connected to the main topic that I am sharing:

The drama is about life of people before war times. there was a girl named Monique who was talking with her friend, telling her to find a partner who is handsome, wealthy and has reputation in the world. but then not long after that, the war began. the male citizen from the country aged 18 to 40 have to serve the army, while the singles woman have to serve as nurse. Monique and her partner, David were worried about their life, she doesnt want all her worldly stuff to disappear and she doesnt want to serve as nurse. similarly, David doesnt wanna serve in the army. Monique in the end escaped with an illegal ship , but the ship sank and she died in that tragedy. While David was unable to escape the calling, so he had to serve the army. When he knew that he lost Monique, he was so devastated. He has lost his possessions and even the girl that he loves. So what's left for him is to die, he found no purpose of life anymore. everything is like a mist. But his friend shared with him that what makes our life is when we are able to fulfill the purpose that God has planned for us even before we were born (Col 1:16 and Isaiah 44:2 -> It happens that these 2 verses were the verses that I learnt from the book). In the end, he started to understand the meaning of life and he no longer pursue the worldliness anymore and started to find the purpose of his life.

At this point of time, I was so shocked already. the book that I was reading was purpose driven life, yet this drama talked about the purpose of life. The peak was the sermon. It was about the coming of Lord Jesus for the second time and about what we need to do : prepare the way. to cut it short, it's about our calling to preach and share the gospel. At that moment, I know already, that I am called to share the gospel. Starting from my family, to people that I am going to encounter in my life. It is now clear that the passion that I have in heart to be a missionary is not just what I want, but it is in line with what God wants me to do. At the same time, I realised too that God is again urging me to share the gospel with my family (which I havent done yet T.T). I just cant stop thanking Him. Just yesterday He forgave me, and today He let me know the answer to my prayer for all this time. He is indeed very faithful. He is too good for me. I am not worthy for Him, yet He cares for every single detail in my life.

In addition to that, answer to the question that I had : how do I share the gospel? Again, the question is answered in the sermon. The preacher said : never think that we are not well equipped or prepared, just do it. bcos it is not by our power, but by God's power. It is the Holy Spirit that will equip us and make us be able to share it.
I just feel so blessed, God made the answer so clearly. Obviously I missed the tram to Bridge wasnot a coincident, He has planned that I should go to Bethany (Honestly, I walked so fast to catch the tram, but I didnt manage to get to the tram). He has also planned for me to read the book "Heavenly man" ,  to let me know about the life of missionary (at the moment, I sense that God is preparing something for me). He has also planned for me to read the "purpose driven life" book, so that I can start to ponder about the purpose of my life, which then I found it tonight.

Never give up when you feel that you are far from God, because the fact is God is always with us. It just that there are so many things that take place in our life that make us too busy for God. Keep on fighting to be close to God.Believe it when you draw near to God, He will also draw near to you. I am glad that I didnot give up on praying and reading when I feel dry cos if I gave up on it, I dont think I will get an answer for my prayer today. Maybe I will get them 1 month later, or maybe years later, who knows.

I also want to thank for those who sincerely pray for me. I really thank you guys that you dont give up praying for my well-being. without all those prayers, I wont be who I am today. =)

P.S : I am extremely tired now, I should have slept 1 hour ago , but I really have to share this, because I dont wanna miss every single details of the stuff that I want to share it NOW. Lol. thank you for reading, I know it's really a long sharing. >_<

Be blessed

All glory to God

Orange girl ^^

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