Struggling to be joyful

Here's an update on what has been happening in my life. Honestly, it has been tough. A lot of things have happened, good and bad things , well, that's life. This time I would like to share about I am experiencing in my workplac
I have been working in this company since Dec 2009. My boss has been so good to me, but starting from early this year, he seems to have changed so much. I do not blame him for his changed attitude. The business just does not run smoothly, he has cash flow problems up to a point where he could not pay our salary for almost a month. I understand that he has so much pressure on him at the moment, but I just could not swallow everything especially at the words that he uses to scold people. He gets angry every now and then, even at the tiniest mistake that I have done. A lot of times, I was scolded for the things that was not even done by me. Even his wife was scolded in front of the co-workers very often. Honestly, everytime when he scolds me, I want to quit right at that time. However, I know that this job is my sole income, I can no longer ask mom to give me money, I should be responsible for my own life and this is also the only reason how I can bear all these.

When I work for my boss, I always make sure that I perform my best, because God tells us to obey our master and to work as if we work for God. Then there was one day where my boss asked me to mill one of the products (he was not in the office at that time). Honestly,I havent got proper training on how to operate the mill and I trully learn everything by looking at how he did it in the past. Nevertheless, I tried my best and I also asked my colleague to help me. There was so much trouble with that particular product that I was doing, I got all the dust from the edge of my hair to the edge of my foot. I have done all I can yet I still could not get the particle size right. I also knew that if I tell him that, he would not be happy about it, yet I did not have any other choice except calling him. He scolded me by saying that : why every bad things have to happen when he's not at the office? why cant i give him some peace for his holiday? why after working for so long, still we cant learn things? Honestly, all those words just hurt me so deeply. It never occurs to me in any of the other places where i worked that I almost cried because of getting told off. That was just one of the examples of how he scolds me. Just imagine that I face him 40 hrs a week and 90% he is in bad mood and this has been ongoing since february. It has influenced me so badly psychologically up to the point when I wake up, I feel so tired and scared to go to work. I always try to avoid him as much as I can.

As you also know that I have been looking for a new job too, but I havent got enough time to really apply to as many companies as I can, yet I havent got any that suits me. I almost quit last week, but fortunately , I didnt dwell on my own misery. when my friend asked me out for consultation because she is having conflict with her family member, even though I am also having such a bad time, i still went to see her. It turned out that i also got a revelation from her. She told me to pray for my boss, tried to give him something to show him my concern, who knows I can help lighten his burden and be blessing to him. When she said this to me, I suddenly obtained the peace and straight away I know that that is the right thing I need to do. I ended up buying my boss a cake. for the whole night and on my way to work (which takes 2 hours), I thought about the words that I should say to my boss, I want to tell him about how I feel (of cos in a good way). In the end, only 1 sentence comes out from my mouth cos I was too nervous. I told him : Andrew, this is for you. I notice that you have been quite stress since the start of the year, and I hope this small gift can make you feel better. He only replied thanks cos he was replying emails.

The next day, he came to me and told me this : Sheila, thank you for your concern. I expect highly on people, but dont you worry because you just work 6 months for me. Dont feel threaten, I know you have done your best for me.
Truthfully that made my day. I can see how God speaks to him through the small gift. I didnt even need to tell him how i feel and he knows it. On the same day, I got an appointment interview with an agent. it went well and now I am still waiting for an appointment with the company. I am scared to put my hope up like the previous one, so all i can do now is to put my trust and hope in Jesus.

However, the story does not end there. Today, my boss' mood changed back to bad again. Again, I am affected by it. It's really really hard to stay joyful in every circumstances but now what keeps me surviving is God's promise where He says that He will never abandon me nor forsake me, everything happens for good reason and the problem that I face will never be too big for me. I will continue on praying, please pray for me and my boss too.

All glory to God

Orange girl


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