Driving test

For the past two days, i have been having intense panic attack. I felt so scared and fearful for some reasons and the reason was ridiculous.. i was scared of having driving test. I know it sounds silly but it's true.

I couldnt sleep on sunday night and even when i slept, I dreamt of the test which i failed. It affected my mood on monday and the whole day my mood was just gloomy. It only got better after I went to bible study fellowship and as i talked to some people. I even had to sit up, push up, do some exercise to let myself be tired and drank a cup of chamomile tea on monday night.. yet the dreams came back. There was no peace at all and i couldnt concentrate on prayer or bible study. It is such as irony because my oikos member had similar problem and i asked her to pray and read the bible. Yet when its my turn, i failed.

The reason behind the panic was i guess i know that i cant fail the test. i can only use my overseas license up to 26 april this month and i would not be able to drive again. Let alone i had to take half day off, borrow a car and return it. It is just so troublesome. Another reason was that i have heard so many people didnt make it on their first attempt and my bestmate warned me that it is not as easy as i thought. Because of all these worries, i just got so frustrated.

if you ask me how i handled it, the answer is still by bible reading and prayer. the peace didnt enter me straight away but i know that through and through, God is with me. Instead of worrying what if i failed, i tried to focus on how God has delivered me from my past difficulties; on His promises (psalm 34 and psalm 91). My prayer was all over the place though but there is an assurance inside me that even if i have to fail, it is part of God's plan that will bring goodness to my life.

I learnt through this event that my worries, problems and anxieties brought me closer to God indirectly. Not saying that we should be afraid of sth all the time or God wil let us be fearful to make us closer to Him. But sometimes God allows the fear in you to be there so that we may learn to obey God and lean on Him. I know probably all of u hear this kind of message all the time in church or even through your cell group etc. But i guess this serves a good reminder for me in the furuee when i fear and of cos passing drivng test is sth i wanna remember forever haha ..

Glory to Him alone

Orange girl ;)