Nothing can thwart the will of God
Following on my post on human nature, im going to share here about what happened just a few days ago.
I was bullied again. Well at least thats what i thought. The same group of colleague who has some grudges towards me actually told my manager that i have some attitude problem. Which was very shocking bcos honestly if i was even angry at them, they will be as good as dead ( im exaggerating here) but the point is they were twisting stories after a series of things happened at work. It really got me into my nerve on that day and honestly i was so so so pissed.
In one corner of my heart, God is speaking to me a few things which i really2 want to ignore up till now
1. Forgive them
2. Love them
3. Do not attack them but leave it to God
4. Ignore it, keep quiet and go back to point number 1 again
I know that very clearly by heart as i was still angry but tried so hard to brush it off. At the same time trying to calm myself down and just keep quiet until one of the other colleagues asked me to report it to my manager about the real situation. I was in dilemma. I felt if i dont do it, im putting it easy on them and they will continue to step over me. On the other hand God says that punishment is His part. But my ego overruled. I followed what the majority said. I wrote email to my manager for the reason of "to keep a record/evidence for future". Its funny how up to this time im still trying to justify my actions. Even in the email im still trying to tell him " oh u know, im just telling.. Just so u know" that kind of attitude.
I even brought this thing into my dream yesterday. Yes... It was that bothersome. Even in my dream i didnt triumph in my discussion with my manager and that person. Honestly when i woke up this morning i didnt feel good about it at all. I was still thinking that it is really not fair
My manager approached me this morning and we went to have small talk/discussion. He told me that the person has made a twist to the story and glad that i told him (though im not sure if he fully believes me or not)
And he gave some tips which was very shocking bcos i could really see that those tips are not new to me
1. Dont react when they try to stir me
2. Pay some respect to them : say hi, good morning etc and have some convo about things outside work
3. Bite your tongue, meaning that even if they are wrong, just say that they are right, bcos the moment i say they are wrong they bcome defensive
4. When confronting them after gaining trust,always put the mind set of Helping them instead of trying to prove that im right
Can you see the similarities with the solutions that God gave me? I am just amazed that God can use anyway anyone so that His purpose will prevail. I can only be speechless. The lesson has been taught but now it is up to me whether i want to apply it into my life or not. Honestly my heart burns even thinking about it. Its just not fair. Here im trying all i can to create peace by not telling anything abt them to my manager since long time ago but God demands more than that. My pride is being torn by God. God is trying to mould me but im reluctant.... Afghhhh...i still cant accept it. Up till now. Dot.
It is definitely hard to accept rebuke when we are wrong let alone this is accept rebuke when they are the ones who caused problems first.
God knows how hard my heart is and He knows how stubborn i am so He didnt stop there to rebuke me. He reconfirmed His will tonight during my bible study. I will just write here some messages that I got :
Disobedience is like termites in your house, it slowly eats away your life.
Do not put yourself ahead of the Lord, do not live by feelings alone
DO NOT BE STUBBORN,SEE YOUR OWN SIN IN THE SITUATION AND FORGIVE
Do not let bitterness take root and do not self seek; instead wait for God to do His will His way
Arghhhh.. God's words is really like a double edged sword that penetrates deep through my soul dividing bones and marrows. Now i understand this verse
You see how imperfect i am and how stoneheaded i am. Please pray that i may gain wisdom and act on this according to God's will quickly though im 101% reluctant.
All credits to God
Orange girl :(