Three fold relationship - God, me and him
Have you ever thought of what kind of relationship that you would like to have in your life?
Is it the one full of sunshines or rainbow? Always romantic, adrenalin pumped, or maybe a unique one?
Well as you all know, i have been single for 5 years before i recently in a relationship.
In that 5 years my perspective about relationship changed a lot from time to time. I used to never think about what type of relationship i wanted, what matters were the type of the guy i wanted for eg : good looking, gentleman, charismatic, funny etc. Slowly God changes the way i think. Obviously there are still some standards that havent changed for eg : 170cm tall, not bald and not have big tummy. Lol. I know.. feel free to judge me. But thats not the most important. Overtime my standards have changed even my prayers have changed. I used to pray for all the qualities that i could think of but slowly God inspired me to pray for his safety, his faith, his challenges , etc. Thats what i call bold prayers because not only you know God will provide you the best partner but you also have the faith that this person exists. So anyway i prayed for him , i wouldnt say i prayed for him everyday but every now and then i would pray for him.
In these few weeks of relationship, i felt like i have gone through a lot with P. To be honest without God i dont think this relationship would have survived because we are just too different. In terms of culture, hobbies, even food preferences. There were times that both of us wanted to give up on this relationship. I know its pretty early right now to say that... the peak was when i had to confess the biggest struggle and regret in my life to him. It was so hard for both of us. At first i thought i would be okay because after all i didnt think i would tell him this early but God ensured me i needed to because it was to protect him and i did. However the moment i saw the pain in his eyes... i started to waver.. started to lose hope and it was just so bad. Our relationship was hanging at that moment. In that instant i know i need to learn to be stronger in God and faith . However again God showed His faithfulness, and He saves this relationship. Both of us are still recovering but we decide that we will fight for it.
Another challenge that we had to face is opposition from family members. Mainly from mine. My parents are ok with it but i could still see that they are checking on me from time to time. The opposition actually came from my aunties. I dont blame them because all their life they have been living in a city where everyone marries with the same race and similar background. At one point they were even threatening me.. and as ive shared before.. i love them dearly and treated them like my moms. For them to not giving me permission for my relationship actually affected me a lot. I started to even dread to go back for holiday end of year. However this is beyond my control, so we just prayed for God to overrule in this situation. What i am grateful for is that my brother and sister are very supportive. So everytime when they called home and talked to my aunties they will help me comforting them and just giving them new perspective. Until finally there was one time , my aunties are a little bit more convinced. Im still not sure how convinced they are but at least theres improvement. How good God is !
I could witness that nothing is better than having God as the centre and foundation of the relationship. Both of us witness how our faith grow . It is kind of funny too to see that even before i tell P what i dont like about him and vice versa, God kinda tells us before that on different occasions. And when we have crossed the line, He would remind and rebuke us.
Even though both of us have past histories, we have strong trust in each other because we can see God Himself guides us in this and we know we are doing the right thing. It was very different with my past relationship where i was always insecure, not sure of the future, try to please him, etc. In this relationship, both of us strives to please God and helps each other to be more Christlike.
Obviously we dont always succeed because our flesh is weak however when we are quick to repent and obey God, His power always enables us.
One thing to realise thou.. we put God as the centre not because we want to make this relationship work but realise each of us were made to worship and God giving us relationship on earth is actually a glimpse of our relationship in heaven with Him. The church is His bride. The world view of relationship has been so distorted that what we see around is people wanting this and that in their partner and if they are no longer happy with the relationship they just walk away. Thats why divorce rate has been going up. But know this... you will never find satisfaction in your relationship if your partner is the focus or you think he or she can make you happy. Why? Because we are all sinners and selfish people but when you are able to understand that the reason why God gives you a partner in your life is that you may be Christlike and that through the relationship you learn more about Him then you wont feel discontentment.
I am not saying P always makes me happy, there are days that he is cranky or i am cranky or days when im not close with God but we consciously making the awareness to help each other get closer to God and thats a beautiful thing.
Finally the 3 fold relationship meaning that God is always the centre of the relationship. The aim of the relationship is to partnering and do good works that God has planned for us. When problem arises, we seek God for help and live by His value. Constantly making the awareness to stay holy just as God is holy. Even when we fail, be quick to repent and help each other to stand and be right again with God. To love each other with the love of God as described in 1 Corinthians 13 instead of loving with worldly love where the main focus is excitement, lust and passion.
You might be wondering, will i be able to have a Godly partner? You are not alone. I have wondered this same question for ages and a lot of times i lowered my standards and i regretted it. God never wants you to give up praying and hoping. It is all worth it. I can boldly tell you it is better to be single than to settle to someone God has not blessed you with. When you seek His kingdom and righteousness first, everything else will fall into places. You are in this season for a reason and just know that this season is not forever. Be strong my dear brothers and sisters !
All glory to God
Orange girl ;)