Starting a new year
Starting a new year? hmm.. not quite. considering that it's already march, but that's how i feel, because there are just so many things that I want to change about myself from this moment. I feel that the past 2 months I have been so childish, not knowing where I stand and who I am. Yet God is good, He keeps on directing me and letting me know about my identity.
Let me tell you, for the past 2 months my faith has not grown more mature at all, instead, I have been going through rollercoaster. My life was a mess and my mood just went up and down. It's all because I dont have intimate relationship with God. you will not be able to imagine how your life can be when God is not present in your life. I hope you wont feel that, because I feel it and let me tell you, it is not good at all. you dont feel peace and you lose the direction of your life. Im not joking, it happened to me. I was idolising the wrong things for the past 2 months. I wont mention what they are here, but definitely they are sth that this world is looking for. But now, I want to hold on to Matthew 6: 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." My understanding in this verse is that the treasures do not just refer to money, but also everything else that we have in this world,ie. God is telling us not to be too attached to this world. Just imagine this, if tomorrow natural disasters happen, will u stay peaceful or wavered?
let me just share with you how God has answered my prayers. I have been praying for peacefulness inside my heart, cos honestly that's sth that i lose for the past 2 months (even when my friends asked me what I want for my bday present, all i can think of is peacefulness and joy, lol). so we had a meeting for all the people who serve in church last week, and there was a guest pastor. Her message was really powerful, again, it was about story in Matthew where there was a guy who came to Him to ask what else that he needed to do to really obey God, cos he claimed to have obeyed all the commandments. Jesus then asked him to leave his possessions and gave them to the poor. The guy was sad and went away because that was beyond what he could do. It striked me so much because most of the time we tell God that we want to serve Him FULLY yet when God asked us to abandon our worldly stuff, we always compromise. To cut it short, when we serve God we need to be :SELFLESS, RESPONSIBLE, and to SACRIFICE.
After the sermon, she suddenly pointed to people and ask his/her name and started prophesizing. guess what, she pointed to 4 people and im one of them. Honestly, when she was prophesizing the person before me, there was a very strong voice in my mind saying that im next. I didnt dare to believe the voice, but it was indeed true. I was so shocked. She said that I have burning bones, God wants me to share the gospel to the people surrounding me, but I always fear and my family tries to shut me up. It was so trueeee!!!! when she mentioned about me fearing to share the gospel bcos of my family background, that just gave me a click, it was indeed from God. I thank God so much that He gave me revelation through the pastor. I thank God so much that He uses any opportunity that He can to tell me how much He loves me. There were just so many other things about God's message to me that I want to share here but I havent got time. lol.
However, life isnt that wonderful, after that sermon, the next day again my mood is like the rollercoaster. Sorry Father, Im too stubborn. I was so stress to the point where I only slept 3 hours 2 days ago and I kept on waking up today. Thank God I have a mentor, I ask her for advice and she gave very useful verse : Phillipians 3:13-14 "13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Before I continue my story, let me share a minute with you on having mentor. Do you know how important a mentor is? A mentor is someone who keeps us accountable and guides us. Mentor is usually someone of the same sex, older (so that he/she is more experienced), wise, live a godly life and can be trusted. We need a mentor because so often we are so blur about where we are going. thus, having a mentor can be a guidance to us and he/she can be someone from whom we can learn from. Just give you a brief example, if you just make a decision to not facebooking for a month, most likely on the 28th days you will break your promise, but when you have a mentor, the mentor can keep you accountable.
Anyway, continueing from my story, i also read a book today called "Kissed Dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris. YOU SHOULD READ IT, cos it super awesome. lol. I read that book already last year but I re-read it to his time because I just to refresh my mind about the message from the book so that I can strengthen myself. I can tell you that now I have gained insight about my problem. The insight is that I am not living for MYSELF but Im living for God. My life's focus shouldnt be me, me and me anymore but it must be about God and others. I also manage to understand the beauty of trusting God and waiting for His timing.
With this new revelation in mind, I believe my walk with Jesus will become deeper and more mature (Amen!!). Trully, only by meditating on God's word then you are able to gain insight. Anw, if any of you want to know MORE about what happens to me (maybe u might have the same problem as me, I can help =)), feel free to email me, ho_sheila@hotmail.com. It's too personal to share it here. hehehehheheh ;p
All glory to God
God bless
Orange girl ^o^ (<- notice the emoticon, that's how i feel now. wheeeeee ^^)
Let me tell you, for the past 2 months my faith has not grown more mature at all, instead, I have been going through rollercoaster. My life was a mess and my mood just went up and down. It's all because I dont have intimate relationship with God. you will not be able to imagine how your life can be when God is not present in your life. I hope you wont feel that, because I feel it and let me tell you, it is not good at all. you dont feel peace and you lose the direction of your life. Im not joking, it happened to me. I was idolising the wrong things for the past 2 months. I wont mention what they are here, but definitely they are sth that this world is looking for. But now, I want to hold on to Matthew 6: 19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." My understanding in this verse is that the treasures do not just refer to money, but also everything else that we have in this world,ie. God is telling us not to be too attached to this world. Just imagine this, if tomorrow natural disasters happen, will u stay peaceful or wavered?
let me just share with you how God has answered my prayers. I have been praying for peacefulness inside my heart, cos honestly that's sth that i lose for the past 2 months (even when my friends asked me what I want for my bday present, all i can think of is peacefulness and joy, lol). so we had a meeting for all the people who serve in church last week, and there was a guest pastor. Her message was really powerful, again, it was about story in Matthew where there was a guy who came to Him to ask what else that he needed to do to really obey God, cos he claimed to have obeyed all the commandments. Jesus then asked him to leave his possessions and gave them to the poor. The guy was sad and went away because that was beyond what he could do. It striked me so much because most of the time we tell God that we want to serve Him FULLY yet when God asked us to abandon our worldly stuff, we always compromise. To cut it short, when we serve God we need to be :SELFLESS, RESPONSIBLE, and to SACRIFICE.
After the sermon, she suddenly pointed to people and ask his/her name and started prophesizing. guess what, she pointed to 4 people and im one of them. Honestly, when she was prophesizing the person before me, there was a very strong voice in my mind saying that im next. I didnt dare to believe the voice, but it was indeed true. I was so shocked. She said that I have burning bones, God wants me to share the gospel to the people surrounding me, but I always fear and my family tries to shut me up. It was so trueeee!!!! when she mentioned about me fearing to share the gospel bcos of my family background, that just gave me a click, it was indeed from God. I thank God so much that He gave me revelation through the pastor. I thank God so much that He uses any opportunity that He can to tell me how much He loves me. There were just so many other things about God's message to me that I want to share here but I havent got time. lol.
However, life isnt that wonderful, after that sermon, the next day again my mood is like the rollercoaster. Sorry Father, Im too stubborn. I was so stress to the point where I only slept 3 hours 2 days ago and I kept on waking up today. Thank God I have a mentor, I ask her for advice and she gave very useful verse : Phillipians 3:13-14 "13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Before I continue my story, let me share a minute with you on having mentor. Do you know how important a mentor is? A mentor is someone who keeps us accountable and guides us. Mentor is usually someone of the same sex, older (so that he/she is more experienced), wise, live a godly life and can be trusted. We need a mentor because so often we are so blur about where we are going. thus, having a mentor can be a guidance to us and he/she can be someone from whom we can learn from. Just give you a brief example, if you just make a decision to not facebooking for a month, most likely on the 28th days you will break your promise, but when you have a mentor, the mentor can keep you accountable.
Anyway, continueing from my story, i also read a book today called "Kissed Dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris. YOU SHOULD READ IT, cos it super awesome. lol. I read that book already last year but I re-read it to his time because I just to refresh my mind about the message from the book so that I can strengthen myself. I can tell you that now I have gained insight about my problem. The insight is that I am not living for MYSELF but Im living for God. My life's focus shouldnt be me, me and me anymore but it must be about God and others. I also manage to understand the beauty of trusting God and waiting for His timing.
With this new revelation in mind, I believe my walk with Jesus will become deeper and more mature (Amen!!). Trully, only by meditating on God's word then you are able to gain insight. Anw, if any of you want to know MORE about what happens to me (maybe u might have the same problem as me, I can help =)), feel free to email me, ho_sheila@hotmail.com. It's too personal to share it here. hehehehheheh ;p
All glory to God
God bless
Orange girl ^o^ (<- notice the emoticon, that's how i feel now. wheeeeee ^^)
Comments
Post a Comment