Going through breakup
The title of this post sounds depressing. I would love to tell you that the process is easy unfortunately it is not. For all who are experiencing breakup right now, whether it is a short term relationship or you guys been together for long time, i know how you feel because this is not my first time , in fact ive been thru several now and none was easy no matter how many times ive been through it.
As you all know, i started this blog while i was going thru painful time of moving on from my previous ex and after 5 years i cant believe im back to the same position. It was quite traumatic for me and there was time i was angry at God why He allowed me to go thru this again when He knew it very well how difficult it was for me to move on. Yet who am i to order God for His plan for my life? God has every right to give and take away , which i realised later on.
But.. i am going thru this process not alone. As i have shared in previous post that its blessing in disguise, i would say thru this process ive learnt more about God and myself. God revealed to me that all this time ive been seeking the wrong approval, that is approval from man instead of God. He also revealed to me the fears that i have which is fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of loneliness, fear of future. For the last 3 wks He has been building my confidence again.. He keeps telling me to trust Him because
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord , whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV
He also asked me not to give up on my dream and gave me this promise
This vision is for a future time, it describes the end and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Habakuk 2:3
These verses did not just appear once but multiple times on different occasion, thats why i can share with confident knowing that i dont make it up myself or stumble upon it but it came from God.
There were times when i woke up in the middle of the night and feeling so uneasy and filled with fear. I didnt realise until yesterday when i reread the verses that God gave me incld isaiah 41:10 where He keeps telling me not to fear .. it all makes sense now. Ive been having all these fears without realising it. Such a comforter God is !
Another new thing that ive been thinking about is again on doing mission. I thought that Hes been calling me to do mission this year but when i reread again what i wrote on my blog 5 years ago, actually God has put the desire in my heart ever since. Recently i received confirmation that God has given me gift of prophecy and healing. Ive joined salvation army for a few times know during their prophetic and healing session and the most profound testimony was lady who was supposed to go for knee surgery was healed when we prayed for her. There were few people who were free from emotional bondages as well. Its so encouraging to see people set free and healed and i want to continue seeing multitude of people coming to God and this urge of serving God as missionary just becomes stronger. At the moment i still havent figured out how to serve as missionary - whether to support churches , be evangelist, or go around prophesying and healing the sick, im sure God will affirm His calling ;) i have also planned short mission trip next year, finger crossed everything will go smoothly.
I realise that going thru breakup is easier when we are able to fix our eyes on Jesus and see the bigger picture. Of course the process is painful and trust me there were multiple occasions where i broke down and cried like crazy and failed in fixing my eyes on Jesus. Jesus never promises easy life after all but He does promise victorious life. I do know one day im able to share my experience with others and strengthen them. This too will pass. Realise that God has greater plan and this too is part of His plan. And when u realise that if you live you live for God then really.. this doesnt matter. Jesus said
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5 : 5-10.
Jesus understands all type of pains and sufferings and He is able to help and strengthen us. We just need to go to Him as we are and rest in Him because his yoke is easy.
When you are afraid, pray and thank Him
When you are lonely, pray and thank Him
When you are sad, pray and thank Him
When you dont understand, pray and thank Him
When you are overwhelmed, pray and thank Him
Whatever circumstances you are in, pray and thank Him
Bcos when u do that, His peace will transcends your understanding
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14 NIV
All glory to Him
Orange girl ;)