Life's been tough
yea.. like what the title says "life's been tough", that is what I am experiencing at the moment.
Again, God reminds me through dream that I need to share about my experience with Him to my family so that they can be saved. This is serious because Satan can easily disturb my family and He has been doing that to my family and my neighbours in Medan indeed. Out of 20+ households, 10 households have at least 1 family member died from cancer in the past 10 years. I believe that it is not by coincidence but it is indeed the Satan who walks into their lives and seizes them.
I have started to pray a lot for my family cos I dont want the same thing happen to my family whereby I lost someone that I love so much in this world from the terrible disease.
At the same time, me myself has been facing a real problem, idleness in study. I admit I have not got any motivation to study and this is my last semester, I need to graduate with more than satisfactory results. However, what I see is me myself avoiding studying or doing my assignment, which is so bad. I need a revelation and a change. in the end, God allowed me to fail one of my assignments, I was so shocked cos this is my first time in my uni life to fail an assignment. I could not believe what I read from the feedback. I got the feedback 1 day before I had 2 tests so imagine how I studied for the tests. It turned out that I can do pretty well on 1 but not the other (which has higher percentage). I just can pray that I wont fail it. Pass is enough for me.
Just as if my life is still not full yet, I am faced with family problem at the same time. there's misunderstanding between my mom and my cousin which is so bad till my cousin kinda hates my mom. Things get very complicated. I know what's exactly happen but I dont know how to deliver it with the right words that both parties can understand and accept it. I have done my best in explaining and finger crossed, I hope that everything will be alright. God, You gotta help me.
Additionally, "he" told me that he has let me go, ie. he has moved on. when I heard that, I dunno whether I should smile or cry. I dont even know what I am feeling right now, I just opened our video and every memories seem to replay in my mind. I thought I am strong, I thought that everything is already alright, I am able to live my life again. But I was wrong, I was avoiding my problem instead of facing it. I am glad that I still have God who gives me strength and power to endure and walk it.
God, u see my heart, u see how I want to change and u see how I want to live for u more and more each day. Please help me to move on and live in You. Please... I can only depend on You cos I know that You will help me. I believe that I will be renewed by Ur Spirit and You will hug me when I cry.
Thank you God that You are always with me though I often sin against You. Forgive me, Lord and please bless me. Amen.
For those who read this, the best thing for me now is prayer. please pray for my family and my study. God bless you.
Again, God reminds me through dream that I need to share about my experience with Him to my family so that they can be saved. This is serious because Satan can easily disturb my family and He has been doing that to my family and my neighbours in Medan indeed. Out of 20+ households, 10 households have at least 1 family member died from cancer in the past 10 years. I believe that it is not by coincidence but it is indeed the Satan who walks into their lives and seizes them.
I have started to pray a lot for my family cos I dont want the same thing happen to my family whereby I lost someone that I love so much in this world from the terrible disease.
At the same time, me myself has been facing a real problem, idleness in study. I admit I have not got any motivation to study and this is my last semester, I need to graduate with more than satisfactory results. However, what I see is me myself avoiding studying or doing my assignment, which is so bad. I need a revelation and a change. in the end, God allowed me to fail one of my assignments, I was so shocked cos this is my first time in my uni life to fail an assignment. I could not believe what I read from the feedback. I got the feedback 1 day before I had 2 tests so imagine how I studied for the tests. It turned out that I can do pretty well on 1 but not the other (which has higher percentage). I just can pray that I wont fail it. Pass is enough for me.
Just as if my life is still not full yet, I am faced with family problem at the same time. there's misunderstanding between my mom and my cousin which is so bad till my cousin kinda hates my mom. Things get very complicated. I know what's exactly happen but I dont know how to deliver it with the right words that both parties can understand and accept it. I have done my best in explaining and finger crossed, I hope that everything will be alright. God, You gotta help me.
Additionally, "he" told me that he has let me go, ie. he has moved on. when I heard that, I dunno whether I should smile or cry. I dont even know what I am feeling right now, I just opened our video and every memories seem to replay in my mind. I thought I am strong, I thought that everything is already alright, I am able to live my life again. But I was wrong, I was avoiding my problem instead of facing it. I am glad that I still have God who gives me strength and power to endure and walk it.
God, u see my heart, u see how I want to change and u see how I want to live for u more and more each day. Please help me to move on and live in You. Please... I can only depend on You cos I know that You will help me. I believe that I will be renewed by Ur Spirit and You will hug me when I cry.
Thank you God that You are always with me though I often sin against You. Forgive me, Lord and please bless me. Amen.
For those who read this, the best thing for me now is prayer. please pray for my family and my study. God bless you.
Comments
Post a Comment